Thursday, December 28, 2006

Landal Greenparcs (1)

No traditional Christmas celebrations for us this year. We decided to take a well-deserved break and at the same time to test Jo's newfound driving skills. And I'm pleased to say I survived the trip with my very own NASCAR driver. Right, where did we go? Well, we went to Eerbeek which is close to Apeldoorn and stayed at one of the Landal Greenparcs (pretty much the same as it's more famous brother in business Center Parcs). We arrived on the evening of the 22nd of December, so naturaly we didn't do much the first day except lounge around and get ourselves installed. The next day however we planned a trip to Palace Het Loo. Het Loo palace in Apeldoorn is worth visiting for anyone who is interested in architecture, gardening and history. The palace and its gardens are beautifully restaured into their original 17th century state, in a fine Dutch baroque style.

Het Loo was built to rival the French Versailles in beauty. The gardens show this ambition and the great attempt it was.



Our Hero with Honeycakes

Though with age he grew frail, his arms always held welcome
even for the child with no sense of tact

His daily rebukes to the lamp-posts and pavements
Made him a warrior to the clumsy girl they'd smacked

His home made meusli, his baked apples for tea
His afternoon naps while us girls watched TV

He taught us to draw, encouraged us to write
He taught me how music could change a life

He was our big friendly giant who was always there
He was a rock for my mum when the world didn't care

Wherever you are now grandpa, I bid you fare well
May our memories keep you warm forever.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

10 Things I'll Never Do...

Who am I to resist being tagged :)

1. Eat Haring:

This is a Dutch tradition I just cannot stomach, literally... I'll let your imagination do the rest.

2. Willingly leave the house when its raining and/or blowing a gale.

I dont like rain and I really hate wind. I have been told I am a bit of a feline specimen in this respect. If forced to endure the cold wetness or strong winds that blow straight through my ribs leaving an aching chill that lingers for ages, I will moan and complain bitterly... and I'm very annoying when I moan and complain.

3. Think Brad Pitt is the sexiest man alive.

Sorry ladies, he's just not my cup of tea. Give me Tim Roth or Gary Oldman or Heath Ledger... even Alan Rickman has more sex appeal than boy wonder Brad! He, like Tom Cruise, is just too pretty... ick.

4. Wear Pink.

Most little girls are thrilled to fill their little lives with this colour... not me! I built tree-houses and threw mud at stuff and played footy with the boys. Pink is the colour of your gums, not your clothes! Especially not men's clothes! I mean, how Miami-Vice can you get?

5. Not do something just because someone says I can't.

Unless I have a really good reason to be careful, I jump feet first into the deep end of almost every situation that presents itself. Questions are asked when and if something goes wrong, not before.
This, as you can imagine, has led to a few interesting experiences... but also led to me moving to the Netherlands and meeting my future husband so it all adds up to GOOD :)

6. Give up on my goal of becoming a full-time writer.

One day I will sell as many books as Harry Potter!

7. Think Ben Stiller is funny.

He's not, he's just irritating... I must have missed something in nearly every film of his because while everyone around me is on the floor in giggles, I am disappearing into the kitchen for something to slash my wrists with!

8. Get involved in the PC vs MAC discussion.

They both have their pro's and con's and besides Linux kicks both their metallic bums... and its free!

9. Refuse chocolate.

It must be something that happens to women when they hit the late twenties. I never used to be a choco-holic but now I can't resist the stuff.... which leads to Baz hiding it all on the top shelf of the cupboard because he knows I can't get up there without the kitchen steps and it amuses him no end to see me standing on my tippy-toes clawing at the air of the top shelf in the hopes of snagging the end of the tub of chocolate hazelnuts.... meanie!

10. Give up coffee.

I can go without everything else, even the choccies, but please, please, never take my caffeine away!


Right, now I've done mine I'm tagging: Momo, Renate and Koos

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

The Bureacratic Brick Wall

They are the bane of every ex-pats existence; they cause insomnia, panic-attacks and all manner of stress-inducing symptoms. They can drive a tee-totaller straight to the hard liquor on the top shelf and even the most peace-loving tree-hugging hippy is likely to lose all sense of let's-get-along-ness and buy a sledge hammer!

Who are these vile creatures who will have you waking up in the dead of night expecting to find yourself hand-cuffed and in the back of an unmarked van heading for the harbour?
Yes, that's right, they are ladies and gentlemen of the City Hall!

I've lived in the Netherlands for almost 8 years. When I first came I was actually fooled into thinking that getting oneself registered into the system was as easy as pie. I flashed them my winning smile and a permanent work contract and with a stamp and a 'Dankjewel' they gave me my residence permit and a warm handshake and off I went to begin my life as an import-dutchie.

Through the years, however, I've discovered that it was all a carefully laid trap set to lure me into a false sense of belonging because in truth, they dont really want any of us to actually make the final step to becoming Dutch citizens...
This really didn't bother me at first. After all, I have been blessed with a British sense of humour and the laid-back attitude of a South African, so I'm a pretty easy going person and I tend to just go with the flow. A minor battle with the denizens of the 5th level of hell who just happen to sit behind the desks at City Hall was all just part of the fun of living in a foreign country.

But that was before I met my Prince Charming and decided to get married.

I am now, however, convinced that behind each desk at City Hall the following books lie, well-thumbed and well-worn:

How to Annoy Foreigners 101: A standard guide to confusing any poor sod who has been told by 5 different clerks that they are at the wrong desk.

1001 Very Difficult to Understand Legal Phrases: Especially useful for foreigners who can speak dutch.

Because I said so, that's why: A self-help book designed to help you become an obtuse civil servant with absolutely no sympathy for the person sitting in front of you.

Of course, all evidence of these texts is cleverly hidden, the truth will never come out and only a few of us are clued in to this conspiracy.

All I can say is: if you too have been sucked into the cycle of endlessly running around like a headless chicken trying to accumulate the hundred and eleven documents the law insists you produce (but only in certain circumstances of course because the others dont require even half of them), take heart. You are not alone and your local support group can be found at the nearest English/Irish pub in the Hague merrily drinking her way through a pint or three :)